This entry was posted on Thursday, May 7th, of 2009 at 2:39 pm


Hi Mama, Happy Mother’s Day!  I just wish i can see you right now and hug you real tight.  I missed you so much Mama.  Atin bengi a eku mipapatudtud uling agaganaka daka,,,mangapagaga ku.  Mama, buri ku pabasa ke kareng kapatad ku ing mensahe ku keng harap na ning puntud mu.  Malawut ku man ngeni at ali daka pa abisita, buri ku paras keka ing lugud ku.  Kumusta ken langit? balu ku na regalu na ning ginu keka ing kinwa na naka, para enaka makadanas kasakitan pa.  Masagli ka misampa ken uling maganaka ka, makadyos at likas ing bait keng pagkatawu mu.    O Ma sana akasabi daka neh? dati anya mabye ka, pane ku sasabyan lagi keka na emunaku babalikan, kasi tatakut ku.  Pero alipala, mas panabikan ku ing magparamdam ka kaku, itang damdaman ku ing kawul mu, ing lambing mu kaku, ing lugud na ning inda.  A miss ku ita pamiyabe ta at sakripisyo ta para labanan ing sakit mu.  Ginawa ya paralan ing Ginu a para miyabe kata ulit ketang last few years na ning biye.  Habang susulat ku kanini, eku apigilan tumulu ing luwa ku, ng kasakit itang likwan muku, ika ing ligaya ning biye.  Minsan mimwa ku, siguro kayabe na ning dalamhati uling kinwa na naka kaku.  Dakal ku pa kasi pangarap na sana agawa tang miyabe, tang pagawa dakang masanting a masanting a kusina, kumpleto gamit bang makapagluto kang manyaman.  Ipasyal daka keng lugar a buri mu pang puntalan, uling balu ku nakang kaburing lulwal at gagayak.  Agaganaka ku pag atin katang lakad, lagi ka handa at magayut pa kanaku.  Lagi ka masaya, katmu kang biye, for 16 years edaman isipan na atin kang sakit, dahil nakang katatag.   Aisip ku na sana nung datnan naku ning nanumang karamdaman, maging kasing tatag daka, megsilbi kang inspirasyon keng biye.    Agaganaka mu ba balang mother’s day lululwal kata? last year a mother’s day tiki ku la reng inda keng siping tang bale, meg celebrate tamu keng tribu grill, halos emu na agyu makalukluk malwat, kabang paneynayan tamu ing pamangan pepagkeran daka keng kandungan ku, habang apisan ke ing buntuk mu, itang time ayta, nilipat ne ing cancer keng buntuk mu.  Balu ku nung ganu ka misasakitan pero emu papakit kaku, halos madurug ku puso dahil edaka buring akakit mamagkasakit.  Inspite na ning pamagkakasakit mu, akwa mu parin ing papakit ing saya, dyang aldo ita at nakatamu kasaya, mengan ka masalese, paboritu mu ing fried chicken, maswelu ku na akakit daka makapangan masalese.    Ngeni malapit na naman ing mother’s day, ala na ka keng siping ku, ala naku pag alayan ning lugud ku bilang anak.  At ng kasakit uling dyang ng gawan ku agaganaka daka, the last 2 years ning biye mu megstruggle kata, pinilit ku gewa ing agyu ku para galing ka, pepaulo daka, binye ku ngan ing egana gana, pero mas binuri na ning ginu na kunan na naka kaku.  At ng kasakit uling keng kabila na ning sakit a denasan ta, mas pinili na kunan na.  Sabi da reng tau, mas masanting na ing mipaynawa ka, at ala na ka namang anyaran dahil binye ku  na naman ngan keka.  Pero nung balu damu, keng pamilubluban ku, buri ku sana eka meko, sana linaban kata pa, at sana dinugtungan ne pa ing biye mu.  Pero atin ya planu ing Ginu para kekata, keka para alina dumanas sakit at kaku, para harapan ke ing sarili ku biye at maging masaya keng piling na ning asawa ku.   Minsan a aldo, makakera kata keng kama, kakalwan daka, tapos kitnangan daka, sabi ku O MA, pag kaya ako ing magka-anak, luguran naku rin anti ning lugud a pepakit ku keka? sabi mu kaku, “wa sigurado ku”, kasi meging kang mayap a anak, at maging mayap karing inda.  Nung nanu man ing pepakit mu at binye mu, iya murin ing tanggapan mu.  Mengapakyak ku keng amanu mu, minsan agaganaka ku, enaku man perpekto, atin aldo a  mamroblema kurin, lalo na pag magigipit ku uling na ning kailangan daka paulu at maaburido ku, atin itang agugulisakan daka, pagsisyan ku ita, kasi alang ninumang INDA ing dapat makaranas makanita.  Ngeni pag atin ku daramdaman a mimwa keng pengari da uling atin la arapat, buri ko sabyanan na ela mananam sakit lub.  Aliwa ya ing lugud na ning INDA, ala yang kapalit.   Mama, balu ku  na emuku buring malungkut at kikiyak, pero eku alako ita lalu na pag agaganaka daka, kabud aiisip ku itang milabas, mangapakayli ku at mangapalwa. Eku makapanaya na magka anak ku at kwento ku kareng maging apu mu nung makananu ya kabait ing karelang lola.  Nung makananu ka katatag keng biye at makananu muku inalaga at peparagul a mayap a tau.  Utang ku ngan keka nung nanu ku man ngeni, meging kung mayap a tau, malugud at palaban keng pagsubok keng biye.  Kaluguran daka, at eka milako keng pusu ku kapilanman. I love you MAMA…..Happy Mother’s Day~     

“There never was a woman like her. She was gentle as a dove and brave as a lioness… The memory of my mother and her teachings were, after all, the only capital I had to start life with, and on that capital I have made my way. - Andrew Jackson

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    I am 32 years old, have 1 lovely daughter and married for 3 years. 
     I love my family, I am fun, loving and have so much zest for life.   I am very social, likes to entertain and be with people all the time.  I love to cook, husband complains how much I cook, even  during my treatment, I don’t drink and don’t smoke.  I am a computer geek, my career is into IT, just finished my Network Technician course last year here in Calgary, Canada. 

    I sometimes love to read book, watch movies but not much into tv show.  I never  thought of having cancer at a young age, though I have a history of cancer in my family.     I was shocked when I found out I have cancer and that this is going to be my life.   I was actually diagnosed in late week of February, stage 4 from the get go, mets to liver and bones.  Since the diagnosis I have been through lot of difficulties, it wasn’t easy and I don’t want to be on this path, where I have to deal with cancer and treatment, but I am left with no options.  The only choice I have right now is to live my life and enjoy till it last.  I know that cancer isn’t curable and that they can only treat me as to buy some time, but I want to make it everyday and be strong, to make the right choice to live a life that I can be proud of and happy with.  My source of inspiration is my family back home (Philippines), my husband and my daughter.  I am doing my blog to share inspiration to those who are going through this difficult time, and share my diagnosis, treatment plan, how am I surviving each treatment, and be a resource to people with cancer.  I believe that no one should have cancer and no one deserves it. 

     

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