I've been up yesterday and down today....I guess that's how cancer is...for 3 yrs of fighting cancer I have learned how to fight through the bad days and enjoy some good days.

In spite of this, I still find beauty in waking up every morning whether I feel good or not because God has given me another day to live. I think being grateful is one of the character that has helped me find happiness amidst of this difficulties. When I think about not being able to get up, I still thank God because I am still alive and able to breathe. When I think about my pain, I think about those people who are suffering and yet they can't afford to buy pain medicine and alleviate their pain and my heart cries for them. Then I realized how blessed I am that God has provided me all the things I needed and prepared me to battle this. He brought me into a place where I don't have to worry about conventional treatment. I could have just live in the Philippines and got sick without getting proper treatment.

But God has prepared this journey for me. He didn't plan for me to get sick....

Jeremiah 29:11 11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Yes, my hope is with The Lord, I am so blessed that he has planned another journey for me. This time, he sent me into a healing place, a place where I can get treatment that I've never thought we can afford. He planned all this things and work according to his plan, he sent people of all different walks of life, to send their help, love and support.

These people helped me raised money for my integrative treatment. I am in tears and overwhelmed with joy every time I think about how it all works together and could not thank God enough, I just want to glorify him with thanksgiving.

Going back last week when I was in the hospital, my oncologist talked to me and said I have few days left, and asked me if I am ready for the possibility of dying in Langley.  I said I am ready for God's plan, may His will be done.

 In spite of all of this, I still haven't thought of dying, yesterday when we arrived in Vancouver I felt a sense of calmness and peace knowing that The Lord is walking with me through this and everything will work according to his plan.

Today as I receive my first day of integrative treatment here in Fort Landley, BClangley bc, I am full of hope that this is going to help me settle my liver and I'll get my strength back in a few days. We will be staying here in Langley for 4-6 weeks of treatment.

I believe in my heart that I am going to get better soon. To everyone that has been part of my journey, I can't thank you enough for all the support, love and prayers you've shown me. I'll be forever grateful for this. You all will be my inspiration and source of strength to keep fighting. And I thank The Lord for your lives and may he blessed you more. Thank you Lord for blessing me much more than I deserve.

Another visit at the hospital (TBCC) this time with upgraded room, I was just admitted three weeks ago due to severe enlargement of my liver and causing great pain.   This time, I get to enjoy the room alone.  Usually 2 patient each room at the palliative care unit.  Hubby jokes about it and said this happened if you are a frequent guest :-).  The truth is, I was on isolation because of the shingles I developed two weeks ago. My immune system has gotten so weak because of the steroids I am taking to calm my liver.

I am not sure where to start, should I start complaining because there has been so much going on lately.  Liver failing, fluid build up (ascites), shingles, hemoglobin count getting low each week, thus, blood transfusion requires each time. My body is deteriorating I must say and too much complications as a result of side effect from the chemotherapy treatment itself for the last 3 years.

To TOP IT all, I was told by my Oncologist that I only have 2.5 months to live.  This, to me is the most painful and unacceptable news.  I thought of my lil Sofia right away, my mind starts to scares me, wanting to scream and asked GOD, WHY?  but I remained calmed.  I did not shed tears when he was talking about it, my husband Arnel was right beside me, he was holding my hand.  As he continue to talk, seems like I couldn't understand anymore, I was looking at him but my mind is wondering, thinking of what is going to happen.  I talked to GOD immediately and asked for strength to accept it, and to remind me that He is in CONTROL, that only HIM can tell when it is my time to go.  There was an immediate calmness, peace knowing He will never leave me in this battle for HE already sustained me for the last 3 years.

Then I came back to reality, I asked my Dr. what we else we can do, and assured him that I WILL KEEP the FIGHT and will not GIVE UP just because I only have 2 months.  We talked about LIVER BIOPSY, this might help us choose the best treatment for my liver.  Which should have been done 3 yrs ago, God is good because he led me to this new ONCOLOGIST.  

So I got admitted at TBCC thursday for LIVER BIOPSY, I am supposed to stay for 4 hours only at the hospital and can go home after.  But I wasn't feeling to well, I was grasping for air the past few days and I have been feeling week.  I knew that my hemoglobin is getting too low again.  Being my own advocate, I said I am staying overnight and would like a request for blood work and check my hemoglobin.  Believe me, for the last 3 years, my medical knowledge has been great than I can almost practice medical field :-).  So, true enough the hemoglobin result came back too low, immediately they gave me 2 bags of blood.  I felt better after the blood transfusion.  I also decided to get the FLUID drained in my abdomen, so I feel better for the long weekend, and I get to enjoy it with my SOFIA and my husband.  Hubby said I am like a car that needs to be tuned up :-).  

All these procedure comes with risks, liver biopsy, fluid drainage, blood transfusion and requires courage to do all of this.  I must say I have been courageous and when the radiologist asked me, I hope I did not hurt you too much with the procedure, I said that is just a vacation for me compared to the bone pain and liver pain I have been experiencing with a smile in my face :-). 

I must say that I drew all my strength from GOD, my prayer helped me go through it with less fear.  My body felt so sore the next day, but I still find time to go to church and share my Testimony of Faith.  To give him thanks for my life, my daughter, my husband and people who has been supportive and praying for us.  For walking with me all throughout this cancer journey, and for extending my life for the past 3 years.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Psalms 69:30 I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving

I haven't updated in a while. After a few years of being on chemotherapy, things has gone from bad to worse.  I fear I am in the throes of liver failure.  I have had CT Scan last month which says stable, but my body says otherwise. 

It was 2 weeks ago when I started to notice my abdomen is getting bigger, I have been in pain and 3 days in bed, couldn’t take/eat anything. It started to worry me and I called my Oncologist to find out what is going, he ordered an ultrasound to see if I have fluid build up (ascites) and turned out ok, but scan says my liver is enlarged, due to severe tumor in my liver. I just thought how big can it go? I feel like I am 5 months pregnant. 

On friday went to my Naturopath Dr, I had high dose vitamin c infusion and had me on amino acids to help me feel better, which I did that day. I always get relief after seeing him. We talked about the new treatment in Medicor Cancer Center and how much it can save my life. Unfortunately this is a very expensive treatment, but the good news is the treatment/chemo is “side effect free” chemo. This consists of high dose chemo given with a special protective drug that protects the body against the chemo side effects, and allows the immune system to function and complement the actions of the chemo, rather than become damaged by it. There is a much higher potential for remission than conventional chemotherapy ~ 90% response rate for advanced cases such as breast cancer. Based on the clinical studies, here is a high chance of complete remission, including long-term remission lasting for years. 

This treatment requires me to fly to Medicor Cancer Center in Toronto for infusions 3 days in a row every 2 weeks. Cost is approx. $4000 per treatment (per 2 weeks), it typically requires 8-10 treatments for best response. This is not covered by healthcare/insurance, making it a costly endeavor.The new targeted treatments, flights and hospital stay will cost me about $40-50,000.00.

Arnel and I can’t afford to fund it by ourselves so we are hoping for help from anyone who feels led to help. I am looking forward to this treatment and still hoping that this is not the end stage for me just yet.

Lately, I have been going through some hard times, and I asked myself how much more I can handle, weekly chemo has been so toughed on me, I have been spending more and more time in the hospitall, Dr’s appointment, weekly blood draw and chemo treatment, ct scan, bone scan etc....It’s been this way for almost 3 yrs now, I should say I am getting tired and worn-out. 

I just had my CT Scan done yesterday, this will confirm if the chemo treatment is working.  So much frustrations as I have waited in the scan room, confusion with time and medication they need to give me, hours of waiting and fasting, I have been starving, drowsy with the medication, I shed tears and asked myself will I ever be well?  is my life still worth living?  this incurable disease is giving me so much pain and suffering.

Every bit of this pain and suffering will either draw me away from God or closer to Him, In my case it has drawn me closer.  In times of this, I seek comfort from God, and prayed to him.  I prayed that my suffering will not be wasted, that this suffering is an investment that God made in my life, because He trusts me enough to allow me to face the dark hours of my soul.  

My affliction has stretched my hope, made me know Christ better, helped me long for truth, asked for forgiveness of my sin, and teach me to give thanks in times of sorrow, increased my faith and strengthened my character.  I will live in faith and hope in God’s power.

I’ve realized then, that even if I survive this disease, I am not going to survive forever.  It’s just a matter of time.  I am not afraid to die, I can’t lose.  I’ll either live longer and do more work for God or I’ll go home to be with HIM.  Either way is a WIN for me :-).  

1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.






I just wanna say thank you for  being a wonderful husband.
Thank you for bringing Sofia in my life.
Thank you for being the best dad to her.
Thank you for being someone I am always proud to be with.
Thank you for your kindness, sweetness, and caring.
Thank you for unconditional love, loyalty and faithfulness.
 
I am sorry that I got sick and that this will take me away from you.
I am sorry for the things I may not given you.
I am sorry for the times  I cannot be a wife to you, and a Mom to Sofia.
I am sorry that we may not grow old together.
I am sorry for the dreams we build together that may not come true.
I am sorry for my weaknesses, for the fights and pain I gave you.

 
Thank you walking with me through this difficult time of our lives. 
Thank you for not leaving me, and showing me that there is God who loves us.
There will be a lot of thing I'll miss when I am gone, our fights, our kisses, our                                                                             memories, our life together.
If my time will come, I will wait for you in heaven, where we can live without                                                                                 tears, pain, and suffering.   
                                                                  
I love you mahal.  You are the best thing that ever happened to me. 
I will forever be grateful to be your wife. 
                                                                         

3rd day of my 6 cycle of chemo, every now and then there is a constant reminder of how I should be greatful of all the good things in my life. God keeps sustaining me with all my needs, from chemo medicine to very supportive friends and family, and He keeps sending more blessings.

I feel like am not worthy of all HIS blessings, because I sometimes failed to recognize all of it, I have become impatient for help and healing. Lord I just want to give you all the praise and glory.......thank you for helping me go through this. I continue to trust you and have faith in you. A faith that humbles me. A faith that shines so brightly in the midst of such darkness in my life :-)

PRAY, LOVE and LIVE
Jen ;-)

I started my fundraising online to help me fund my alternative treatment.  At first I was excited for this project as this can help me prolonged my life and hoping that cure will happen.  I do not know why alternative treatment can be so expensive but what I know is that I'll do every effort just to live my life and spend more time with my daughter.  I started having high dose vitamin C which cost me $200 every infusion.  I am supposed to have 2x a week with this but decided to have it weekly, since money can be an issue.  Aside from this I am looking to have the hyperthemia treatment which has a great result of killing cancer cells.  I called the office in Langley BC and asked how much it is going to cost for a phone consultation and so I can just fly for the treatment day.  After talking to them I kind of look back of how much I have raised already and thought about doing it, if I start this treatment will I be able to sustain it? 

I then phoned in my husband, talked about it and the excitement boils down to more disappointment and sadness.  Reality is we can't afford and might go bankrupt if we continue to do it on our own......for now I can do the high dose vit c treatment and mistletoe with our savings and with money I am making from my decor business....but seems not possible for too long and for Hyperthemia treatment......Tears starts falling to my face, and I just did myself a pity party.  It is so frustrating when healing and help doesn't happen.  I needed more funds, I have raised a few money since I started the fundraising, few people have donated and these are the people who I do not know or barely knew.  I cried and prayed, I will just continue to trust him.  If it is his will, nothing is possible.  He will send help and mercy and maybe healing.....may his will be done........

I, Jenifer, take you Arnel, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part



This is the promise we made on our wedding day, January 19, 2008.  It feels like it was just yesterday when we got married, time flies and in a few days we will be celebrating our 5 Years Wedding Anniversary.  Our relationship is far too young, we are just starting to build our life together, dream together, and make these dream come true.   And yet, as young our relationship it is, life throws us both a curve ball. 

We have committed that in sickness and in health we will be together, I did not see this coming too early.   It is a test of our relationship, they said true commitment and devotion are tested when we are faced with trials.

Being diagnosed with terminal illness by far is the hardest illness to watch in a loved ones.  How can this be happening? You are not prepared for this, and yet you proved me that true love can stood the test of time.  You have taken that responsibility to take care of me, and love me unconditionally

I know that it is not easy, and sometimes you find yourself overwhelmed with responsibilities of taking care of me, our Sofia, our home, our financial needs.

And yet, there is something so sweet about watching you take care of me and Sofia, the love the you showed to us is heartwarming.  I have never heard you complain even once, every time you need to bring me to the hospital, buy me medicine, shopping for my needs.  The way you pray every night to God asking for my healing.  Whenever I hear you sing for Sofia at night and put her to bed.  How lovely and wonderful it is to have a husband like you?  

Through all of this trials, there is such a note of love and faith in us, that even when there is fear, there is something undefinable, lovely and inspirational.   

I can't thank God enough that he brought you into my life.  Thank you for being my partner in facing this life’s challenge, I coudn’t ask for a better husband.

Thank you for the 5 years of marriage, it is not perfect but it is what brings us close together, through trials and hardship. 
 
Thank you for your commitment, caring and unselfish devotion and most of all, for always believing that there is FAITH, HOPE and LOVE in US.

Happy 5 years Wedding Anniversary :-)






"Sharing the Wedding VOW I made back in January 19, 2008"


Growing up as a young girl, just like most young girls I love watching love stories, reading romantic novels and fantasizing if that would ever happen to me.

I grew up always dreaming, if I will ever fall in love, just like in one of those romantic novels.  
We hardly have enough when I was young, and I focused myself on studies and then working hard to provide for my family.  And then, I quickly forgot what I was dreaming of.

I met you seven years ago, I was very young then, and we became friends only to lose touch for several years.  And for some unknown reason, you came back into my life unexpectedly.  Only to remind me of my young girl dream about the magic of "LOVE."  

I tried to ignore the magic that you brought because I stopped believing in magic, but it was fate that keeps bringing us back into each others path.  And then, unknowingly, I started falling in love with you.  Before I knew it, you turned my life upside down.  The distance and our differences made it seems hard to believe that it is our fate to be together.  But you made me see how beautiful our love story can be, and I started believing on us.  For when I am with you, my mind is at peace, and there is burning fire in my heart to keep loving you.

And today, as we stand before God, and while our friends and families are watching, I would like to take care of the fire that our love creates in our life.  I love you, and I promise to support you in all your endeavours and give you unconditional intimacy, loyalty, faithfulness and trust.

I will be at your side to nurture and touch, to heal your wounds and to calm your heart.  I promise to give you serenity and harmony.   I will respect and listen when you speaks and read our journal of love as you continue to write our love story.

I will see to your needs and lean on your strength.  I will take your gift and return them so they can multiply.  I will praise God and give thanks to him everyday for giving you in my life, the man who brings fire into my heart and peace into my mind, the man I love.

This shall I do until my last breath.

My mom battled breast cancer for 20 years, she was diagnosed when she was 42 and died at the age of 62 in February 2009. 
 
After my mom passed in 2009, I moved to Canada to start my life here in Calgary.  In September, 2009 I became pregnant with my daughter, Sofia.  When 6 months pregnant, I noticed a small lump in my breast but both my doctor and Ob Gyn told me it was likely just milk ducts and not to worry.  I was 31 at the time.

After Sofia was born, the lump was forgotten, until almost 2 years ago on Feb 19, 2011 when I started experiencing extreme abdominal pain and nausea in the night.  It appeared to be a gallbladder infection.  It didn't take too long before the pain was so great that an ultrasound was done.  Not a gallbladder infection - when all was said and done,  I was  told that I have stage 4 breast cancer, with lesions on my liver and mets all over my bones.  After nursing my mother through this terrible illness, and at such a young age, it was an unbelievable diagnosis for me to face.

Chemo was begun in Mar, 2011 and it has been up and down since then with various drugs, some helping more than others.  In September of this year I was hospitalized for a week and had to stop working.  In the midst of all of this, almost a year ago during a visit to the Philippines we fell in love with a newborn baby, Logan, who was in need of a loving family and decided to adopt him. While most families would be closing in and protecting what financial and emotional resources they have, we opened up their arms to another child.

That's our story in a nutshell.  Through all this cancer journey, I am blessed to have a very supportive family, friends, a husband, and a lovely daughter Sofia, she is 3.  Logan will be 1 year old in a few days. 

Currently, I am still on chemo treatment (XELODA), this has been the 3rd chemo since my diagnosis, and 2 hormonal treatment which failed.  I know that one day they will stop working for me, or be too toxic to continue, which leads me to go for alternative treatment. 

I am hoping to do a fundraising online to help me with alternative treatment (My account for the fundraising is still being setup, I will go live once everything is confirmed), and it is my hope that friends, family and people with good heart will be able to help me prolong my life. 

I feel now that putting in effort to prolong my life, as well as creating an environment for potential healing using both conventional and alternative treatment, emotional, spiritual and physical, along with acceptance of the outcome of life, which is death, can only make my journey more rewarding..

Thank you and God Bless,
Jenifer Chavez

This was taken during my chemo treatment (taxotere) last year, with my daughter Sofia.